Monday, November 25, 2019
How to Complain (to Actually Get What You Want)
How to Complain (to Actually Get What You Want)How to Complain (to Actually Get What You Want)The coffee is too hot.The air conditioning is too cold.That policy is unfair.The old way worked better.I always get the hardest assignments.My boss never says thank you.You see the harte nusss in your office- the processes that could be improved, the policies that should be changed, the little annoyances that, over time, turn into big annoyances- and you want them fixed. But no matter how many times you complain, nothing happens. Your objections fall on deaf ears and things stay the same- the way theyve always been. Sound familiar?Well, during my years as both a teammate and a manager, Ive been the sounding board for (OK, and maybe the occasional source of) complaints at my office, and Ive learned that tzu siches a right and wrong way to complain. One way will get you labeled as a whiner- and one will actually get you what you want. So, the next time you have something to complain about, her e are my tips for doing the latter.Consider the Opposite Point of ViewBefore you let a complaint slip out, take a moment to consider the opposite point of view. Is the office always freezing? Well, the facilities director probably thinks its better to be on the cold side, where employees can put on a sweater, than the warmer side, where all employees can do is, well, sweat.Stuck on something a little mora serious, like a newly implemented company policy that you dont fully support- or understand? Jumping to a poorly thought-out complaint (e.g., Its so unfair that we cant wear jeans every day anymore) is the easy way out- but thinking about the true reason something happened (Well, employees really were crossing the line in their interpretation of the casual dress code) can help you gain a wider perspective. If you truly cant see the reasoning behind it (No, really- why can we only take time off in half-day increments?), ask your manager for insight. If he or she can provide a reason able explanation, youll have your answer. And if your manager comes up with an equally questioning response (e.g., You know, thats a great point)? Well, youll be able to more effectively form your complaint to take up the chain. Dont Cry intertrigoIn my office, theres one employee in particular whos been labeled the complainer. Whether he thinks a new process is inefficient or the new window blinds are letting in too much light, he makes sure that his objections are known to everyone around him. But while its OK- and, in fact, usually encouraged- to point out inefficiencies or ways that things could be better, theres a big difference between complaining to make improvements and complaining for the sake of, well, complaining. Because when you grumble about anything and everything, it starts becoming hard to distinguish what really deserves attention. Instead, pick your battles wisely, focusing on the things that are both important (i.e., directly affect you and your job) and changeab le (i.e., not the fact that you prefer another brand of coffee over the one that your company has used for the past 20 years). When you voice your complaints strategically, youll make much more of an impact.Cut Back on the WhineRemember when you were a kid, and youd shout your complaints to your parents from across the house, drawing out the yep mom with a few extra os for emphasis?Well, no matter your age, its easy to let a bit of that same whining tone into your voice when you approach the subject of your complaints (e.g., Seriously, why do we have to do this? This is so ridiculous). I know- you may assume that, as a professional, you dont do this- but I say it because Ive seen it. A lot.To be on the safe side, check your tone before you voice your grievance. Begin your objection by making sure that its a good time for whoever youre complaining to (read not when he or she is about to head into a meeting or is packing up for the night). Then, start with a patient, respectful intro, like, Ive been noticing something lately thats been affecting my ability to do my job. Do you have time to chat about it? With this, you wont immediately put your subject on the defensive. Instead, youll convey that not only have you thought about it carefully, but that its something that you truly think deserves his or her time- which will make him or her much more receptive to your thoughts. Back Up Your ComplaintIts easy to complain about something you dont like its not so easy to come up with a realistic solution to that problem. One of the most frustrating things about being on the receiving end of a complaint is just that The complainer is often quick to point out a problem, but usually not so ready to suggest a resolution. To complain most effectively, youll need both relevant examples of the problem and a feasible way to fix it. By explaining a few specific ways that something has directly affected you and your teammates, youll prove that a problem exists, and by suggesting a solution, youll convey that youre invested in the issue and willing to put in significant effort to address it. Venting can be cathartic, but if you really want the problem to be addressed, you need to bring it to light the right way. Constantly complaining to your manager or teammate wont get you far- but respectfully pointing out an issue, explaining how it affects you, and suggesting a possible solution will put you on the fast track to a resolution. Photo of megaphone courtesy of Shutterstock.
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